what the heck kind of title is that?

Well it’s the title of a chapter in a book.

What book?

Ok, it’s not actually a book, it’s my life (ho shit, diz bitch be usin metaphorz!)

But really, if I wrote an autobiography, I would have to talk about this week. It has seriously been a turning point in my life. I mean when did I originally become phan, the person I am now?

Well I took on the name almost 2 years ago (wow it’s been a long two years) and that was when I was at the original height of my madness. Phantom of the Opera was comparable in my life to, perhaps, I dunno, breathing. And then towards the end of the school year I discovered LND (which we do not speak of) and, more importantly, les miserables.

I was hooked. So hooked. At camp, I got myself the name of Broadway and it was totally insane and I though hmm, this is not a phase, this is real, this is who I am, this will never go away.

And then in July I discovered MLP

And then in September I discovered Doctor Who

And musicals just kind of fell from the foreground of my mind.

Maybe I genuinely liked MLP and DW better, or maybe I just needed something new (since musicals don’t exactly have weekly episodes). Or maybe, and what I think may have been the most likely, I was just frustrated that no one understood my obsession with musicals. Everyone just thought it was a phase, or just some weird hobby. No. It was my life. I would just sit in my room and just cry frustratedly because no one understood me (wow this is stereotypical).

I mean people tried, but no one ever just threw caution to the winds and gave themselves to it, so I was utterly alone. I had a couple people who I could discuss stuff with (one being slytherin who saw Poto for the first time at the same time as me, and the other is my still faithful Les Amis friend that I’ve seen the movie with twice now) but no one who would put up with my ramblings all the time.

So I buried it and got into shows that had huge, normal fanbases. And of course then I got friends into stuff and I fangirled for two straight years. And it was and is still fabulous.

And then this.

This movie.

I just… Wait I have the perfect comparison. And it relates.

It’s like having a childhood sweetheart and then one day years and years later, you just stroll into the opera because that’s what rich people do, and this girl is singing there and mid song you just stand up and are like

can it be….. can it be Christine?…~

Like musicals and all this theatre crap was my first love and now there was a plot device and they’ve come back into my life so abruptly and ohgahd ima just fall for them all over again now.

I hope that whole analogy made sense (if not fml, it’s two years ago all over again)…

But this is why it really pisses me off when people (my brother) are all like “that’s so stupid how you don’t even care about something until it’s a movie and then you’re suddenly all over it like a fangirl, it’s so stupid”

YOU LITTLE BALLS OF {censored} DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT.

I mean, I’m very private around my family, so I guess it’s my fault that they now think I’m a stupid bandwagon fan. I mean come on guys, I’ve been listening to the music FOR TWO FRIGGIN YEARS.

…

And this new year has actually started a new section of my life, in which I am returned to my original self. This could be deep and amazing or really, really, really annoying. Like to the point of everyone unfollowing me. But whatever.

This is a new part in my life where I will just try that much harder to get everyone to see through my eyes, so watch out guys, because it will likely involve reading and watching and poto parties and kidnappings and such things.

So, i give you a new chapter.

~phan

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